Random Observations

While I am all for scaring older children ( there are few things more hilarious than convincing a couple of 13 year old boys that there really is a boogeyman) there is a lower age limit. What I am about to say, I say with full conviction and not even a hint of qualification. If you think that photographs of terrified babies sitting on Santa Claus’ lap are funny then you are a weirdo. Period. Parents who do this deliberately should be held down and made to cry and beg for their lives while someone takes pictures that we can all laugh about later.

Early on many people said that B. Hussein was the second coming of Jimmy Carter, lately it appears like he might be the second coming of Slick Willy. “I did not have sex with that woman.”- Bill Clinton. “I did not have contact with that governor.” B. Hussein. For these people the truth is always the fifth or sixth choice, and while they may eventually tell it, a certain amount of time always elapses while they sift through their other options.

As I’ve said before and will say again the issue of unilateral personal disarmament is not dead. Some time in the next four years it will be back with a vengeance. Washington D.C. is now controlled by people whose policies are not the product of rational thought but of glandular secretions and they FEEL strongly that Americans should be disarmed.

Finally, President Bush is a cool guy, and pretty damn quick too! The video of him dodging well aimed footwear and still smirking at the rag head throwing it is priceless. I really enjoyed the very end of the video when a Secret Service guy FINALLY approaches the President and gets dismissed with the back of his hand as if to say “Relax, it’s just a moron throwing shoes”. Nicely done, Mr. President.

Read this, then punch a whiner

“Please pray for him not to suffer from this accident…”

Not to start one of those Mega arguments but I couldn’t help myself

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II
US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

“Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work–including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule–our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking.”

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated “The US only had two major victories– Japan and Germany . The computer models, unlike humans, aren’t influenced by head-to-head contests–they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event.”

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said “Yes, we lost to the US ; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks.” Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn ‘style points’ to enhance Germany ‘s rankings. Hitler protested “Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces.”

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented ” France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2.”

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.

P.S. I obviously copied and pasted this. I am not nearly smart enough to create it.

Broke down

If you read Pat Buchanan’s article about the death of the U.S. auto industry, you will learn something.

An eye for an eye

The sick freaks finally got one right.

Prelude to a Thanksgiving

On March 16, 1621, 8 months before the first Thanksgiving, the pilgrims of Plymouth met their first Indian. His name was Samoset and all he really wanted was to get his drink on. Plymouth governor William Bradford wrote about the encounter in his book, Mourt’s Relation: A Journal of the Pilgrims in Plymouth, first published in London in 1622. Lucky for us someone has modernized the spelling.

Friday, the 16th, a fair warm day towards; this morning we determined to conclude of the military orders, which we had begun to consider of before but were interrupted by the savages, as we mentioned formerly. And whilst we were busied hereabout, we were interrupted again, for there presented himself a savage, which caused an alarm. He very boldly came all alone and along the houses straight to the rendezvous, where we intercepted him, not suffering him to go in, as undoubtedly he would, out of his boldness. He saluted us in England, and bade us welcome, for he had learned some broken English among the Englishmen that came to fish at Monchiggon, and knew by name the most of the captains, commanders, and masters that usually came. He was a man free in speech, so far as he could express his mind, and of a seemly carriage. We questioned him of many things; he was the fist savage we could meet withal. He said he was not of these parts, but of Morattiggon, and one of the sagamores or lords thereof, and had been eight months in these parts, it lying hence a day’s sail with a great wind, and five days by land. He discoursed of the whole country, and of every province, and of their sagamores, and their number of men, and strength. The wind being to rise a little, we cast a horseman’s coat about him, for he was stark naked, only a leather about his waist, with a fringe about a span long, or little more; he had a bow and two arrows, the one headed, and the other unheaded. He was a tall straight man, the hair of his head black, long behind, only short before, none on his face at all; he asked some beer, but we gave him strong water and biscuit, and butter, and cheese, and pudding, and a piece of mallard, all which he liked well, and had been acquainted with such amongst the English. He told us the place where we now live is called Patuxet, and that about four years ago all the inhabitants died of an extraordinary plague, and there is neither man, woman, nor child remaining, as indeed we have found none, so as there is none to hinder our possession, or to lay claim unto it. All the afternoon we spent in communication with him; we would gladly have been rid of him at night, but he was not willing to go this night. Then we thought to carry him on shipboard, wherewith he was well content, and went into the shallop, but the wind was high and the water scant, that it could not return back. We lodged him that night at Stephen Hopkin’s house, and watched him.

The Final Daughter Speaks

The Final Daughter has just turned 13 and now feels that her views on race in America should be heard. The following is them.

As The Hood Turns

Many blacks in America don’t seem to appreciate the advantages they enjoy simply for being black. For instance, backs can call whites whatever they want “whitey”, “cracker” etc. but whites have to call them “African American”. For me the term “African American” should be used only for those who were born in Africa, and not for people who feel the title pertains to them because their ancestors from long ago were African, if that is the case then I insist upon being referred to as “European American”. Everyone in America is forced to endure “Black History Month”, which is a bit presumptuous on their account, seeing as how we have yet to establish an “Everybody History Month”. My understanding is that Martin Luther King Jr. argued for equal rights for blacks not special rights for blacks. Another advantage is the United Negro College Fund, I myself am still waiting to hear from the United Caucasian College Fund. The special treatment doesn’t end there, we have “Black Entertainment TV” but not White Entertainment TV. It was recently brought to my attenyion that there is a Miss Black America pageant, I find this beyond ridiculous because there is no Miss White America, Miss Hispanic America, nor a Miss Asian America. How much special treatment is enough? Apparantly decades of lowered expectations delivered on a silver platter isn’t enough to stop the whining.

The Final Daughter

The shackles are broken

Not new news but just want to say in the famous words of The Who “I’m Free!” Or even our hero MLK jr. Whose unplagiarized quote was something like “free at last!” No more keeping America on wheels for me. I don’t know how the industry will survive but I fled the coop. So does this mean that my biggus excusus has been taken away when it comes to my dearth in writing? I don’t know, maybe. Apathus who caresus may rule but hey what else is new. Oh what’s the point? I’m Baaaaack.

Speaking of Conspiracy Theories

According to this article if you doubt the existence of “Apocolyptic Man-Made Global Warming or Cooling or Raining a Lot or Not Raining Enough Etc.” then you are in the same league with 911 truthers, those who think little green men crashed at Roswell, and believers in the Bush/Cheney hurricane machine(it’s in Alaska, no really it is). If this leftist attempt at reality inversion is successful then we can expect a future where Patriotism is equated with belief in the tooth fairy. Oh, wait, that’s already happened. Never mind.